Copyright notice at bottom
Involve all concerned parties
Gather information first
Information Gathering Tools
Communicate interest: "I want to understand your view."Repeat Technique
Repeat the vague word with inflection: "This is difficult?" "Difficult?"Probe
in which way, under what conditions.
Avoid "Why?" Sounds judgement. Makes people defensive.
Avoid leading questions - questions that have content or contain the answer.
Poor: "Did she say that . . . ?" Better: "What did he say?"
Best: "What happened?"
Closed questions are leading questions.
They begin with "Did . . .?" "Will . . .?" "Are . . ?"
"Isn't . . . ?" "Wasn't . . .?" "Weren't . . .?"
"I get the feeling . . .?"
"Am I right in saying . . ?"
"Tell me if I understand, do you . . .?"
You are seeking a yes/no confirmation of your check out.
Specific Check Out: "Do you mean you think it has build in bias."
under questionable conditions."
Specific Check Out: "Do you mean you think the design is flawed?"
General Check Out: "Do you mean you feel discouraged?"
Use with active listening - such as nodding silentlyReview & Sum Up
"Let me see if I've got it." + State point 1, point 2, point 3Give Information
Describe Your Concerns
Be specific: avoid vague words -describe situations, behaviors or outcomes
Be objective; avoid judgemental and emotional labels
Be concise; don't ramble and repeat
Describe one issue at a time
Don't defend and justify
Use "I" statements - "What X happens, I feel . . . ."Negotiate an Action Plan
Ask: "What do you suggest?"Allow face saving
Check with all parties involved
"She suggests that . . . . What do you think of that?"Concentrate on what you each will do.
Specify behaviors and outcomesGet agreement from all parties involved
Don't demand equal give and takeReview and Sum Up Action Plan
"I will XYZ and you will RST. Is that agreed?"Acknowledge
"This looks like a good plan. You deserve a lot of credit for it?"Schedule Follow Up
Don't expect perfection. Renegotiate to fine tune
Copyright 1995: Beverly A. Potter. From From Conflict To Cooperation: How To Mediate A Dispute, by Dr. Beverly Potter, Ronin Publishing, Berkeley, CA. This mateiral may be copies for personal use. Any other use requires permission from Beverly Potter. To request permission to reprint, contact Beverly Potter, ph: 510/420-3669, fax: 510/420-3672, email: firstname.lastname@example.org