My co-worker is a brat!

I just started a job seven weeks ago. The boss's son works with me. He is as bad if not worse than his father. He is loud, obnoxious and insulting and tries to express it  in a half  joking way.

Yesterday, I made an honest mistake. I owned up to it immediately. It temporarily affected the work that his girlfriend -who also works there but wasn't present-did. The affect was easily corrected but meant he had to take a few minutes to correct it.  Another co-worker-who has been training me - admitted partial responsibility toward the mistake. He - having more knowledge - ended up fixing it instead of the boss's son.

The boss's son  (so-called jokingly) told me that his girlfriend will "kick my ass" over this. I replied that I thought she would be understanding. I then overheard him say to the afore mentioned co-worker you (again jokingly) "you guys are stupid morons just like the guys in the print shop, except you clean up after yourselves." I asked my co-worker if we were called morons and he said "yes, but you shouldn't take offense at that, he calls everyone a moron, and I've worked with him two and a half years. That's just how he is.

I just started this job after going to College for retraining, and finishing at 36 years of age. I have my pride, I treat others with respect and expect the same in return. I did not take this job to be the punching bag for some 27 year old brat.

I thought of approaching "the brat" and letting him know I did not appreciate his comments, even if he tries to excuse it as "just kidding" I got some advise on the situation. It was to not take that approach because "the brat" would love to know that he got my goat as that would lead to him doing it more. I have reason to believe this may happen.

I don't like the job and I'm looking for another one. I have to keep my dignity in tact and not swallow these remarks. How should I deal with this in the interum.

Brat Sitter
 
 

Docpotter's Reply
 

Brat Sitter

Do you expect the guy to change just because you are offended - and in only a few weeks time?  No, of course not - that's not reasonable. Your co-worker is right - that's just the way he is.

You don't like this kind of environment and you are leaving. That is how you are handling it. But in the mean time you continue to get angry at this guy - as if suddenly he is to change because you arrived on the scene.

How do you handle it in the interrium?

Think of the brat as your teacher, teaching you how to put up with and/or handle such a person in such a way that it benefits you most - or at least so that you don't get hurt.  You have nothing lose in this approach with this guy - if you fail, you are leaving anyway.  Use him to teach you to - "let it go" - and to watch how you allow your self-talk to take off when he does something that offends you.  You are driving yourself crazy - as well as demanding that the whole world live by your standards.

If you don't want to think of him as your teacher, think of him as an alien or an undomesticated animal - doing his natural alien or animal thing.  Do you get angry at a cat if it hisses and then ruminate over it for hours thinking about how the cat ought to be more polite?  I doubt it. No, you just let it go.  Forgotten.

Meanwhile - you MUST get out of this environment.  And next time do a better job of evaluating the job enviroment and values before taking it.

Leave Well

There's leaving well an leaving poorly.  No matter how obnoxious the brat is - you continue working appropriately.  Remind yourself that you are leaving.  Get another job, give proper notice, finish up your work.  Keep you mouth shut on your personal opinions of the brat - and you are out of there and can always use it as a reference. This is the professional way.

Or you can work yourself up to flying into a rage and storming out.  That is leaving poorly.  And you know what?  They will not care and they will not get the message - and you will look very very bad.

So the brat is your teacher.  Can you pass the test?

-docpotter.