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My Dad is sick and will die. How can I stand it?

Please can you help me with one worry I cannot seem to overcome? My Dad is in not the best of health. He's having problems mentally with heart problems and medication and has had by pass surgery 10 years ago. He is mid-70's. I fear the day he passes on. I picture and feel the fear on the day I receive the call. Even now I when the phone rings after I have been away from the house "Can this be the call?" then it continues to the day of his funeral and how will I cope? How will my Mom cope? Since there are only 3 in our family (ie. Mom, Dad, me) what will life be like after it happens? All this hits me about 2 a.m. about every other night. What to you suggest?

How Can I Stand It?

Docpotter's Reply

That is a troublesome worry because - unfortunately - someday your Did will die.

You can do 4 things. First is stress innoculation - here - when you get the worry - you let yourself experience the fear - as yo have - THEN you deliberately switch to you PLAN ( you need to try many out in your mind) for what you will DO when that happens - both right away and in the days and weeks afterwards. THEN, as you imagine yourself doing the plan - allow yourself to feel some relief from the fear.

When you Dad dies - this will help - you will NOT be happy - but you will be less stressed and shocked. Your mind and body will have been programmed to do exactly what you planned and you will feel more in control and you can be the dtrong one helping the others.

Second, when you get those fearful images - (already have this created in your mind) switch your thinking - deliberately - to positive thoughts of how lucky your Dad is- as well as you and your family - to have had this long life (my father died when I was twelve - for example) - and how he'll feel been when relieved of this physical suffering - also try memories of wonderful moments etc.

Three, there are several books on market about communicating with spirits after they pass over to the other side. These books ar very comforting - I know because my husband just died and he was very young. You might even look for a medium - and later having a "sitting" when you can communicate with your Dad. And you can tell him now that you will waiting here to hear from him.

Four, you have the opportunity NOW to talk with your Dad abut anything - that you will ave WISHED you talked to him about later.

-docpotter